NOTE (1/12/18): We’re all learning and growing.  Some of the stuff I’ve written in these old posts may no longer be exactly what I believe or think, or at least may not be articulated the way I’d do it nowadays.  I preserve them in an attempt it to be transparent about my journey, and in the hopes that readers may still glean some insight from the core ideas found here.  Thanks for journeying with me!

I believe that I have a bank account with an unlimited amount of cash.  It is called the Bank of Heaven, and Jesus opened my account.  I am forever grateful for this.

However, sometimes I have realized that I don’t use my debit card when dealing with issues.  Because you see, I get busy.  My calendar starts looking like a rainbow.  I have assignments and auditions and deadlines, and in the thick of things, an issue gets added on top of all this.  It could be something someone says that unsettles me –  a facebook post.  Or maybe a song lyric.  Maybe I get distressed by Justin Bieber’s life choices.  Or perhaps I look at my financial statement from last month.  Somehow or other, an issue gets to me.

So I do what all good governments do: I put the problem on credit.  AKA, I say: “I will deal with this later.”

This is not always a bad thing.  For example, I should probably not weep, mourn, and wail the loss of my ferret Gelda while I am best manning a wedding.  But remember – putting it off comes at a price.  BEEP.  I must swipe my credit card.

There’s a lot of people running around today completely depressed and discouraged.  Do you want to know why?  I think it is because they haven’t paid their outstanding balances.  They have not taken the time to think through, process, and deal with the issues and traumas that they’ve slapped an “IOU” on.  I guess they’re hoping on some rainy day they’ll have time to get the chequebook out figure out how to break even.  Or maybe they don’t believe they have an account that could possibly pay off all their debts.  So they don’t even bother to cheque – pardon me.  Check.

Well, you can try to get by just paying off enough interest so that the debt collectors don’t come around (and by debt collectors I mean you getting hospitalized or worse for stress, anxiety, depression, etc).  However, I am one to believe that it is possible to not only to get out of the red, but into the black.  Why?  Because Philippians 4:19 says “my God shall supply all your need, according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus”.

Think about it!  Everything you need right now…all that you need to balance your chequebook…Paul writes God shall supply it.  But this is a conditional promise – you gotta ASK (Luke 11:10, James 4:3)!

If continuing the analogy helps, I think of the time I deal with all my “debts” as bookkeeping time.  It’s where I just get alone, turn off the computers, and get real about everything.  Sometimes I hire an accountant.  A spiritual accountant, that is – cuz often we miss stuff if we just go through things by ourselves.  Sometimes I gotta go to other people and ask forgiveness, or for clarity on something, or give some brave communication.  I pray.  I write.  I think.  And I do this till things are good again.  I really can’t remember a time when I was not able to find peace again through this.  It really is possible.

The world is full of “credit card offers”.   When people get drunk, what happens?  Any pain or unresolved issues go away temporarily.  But later it can come back to haunt you.  Sometimes with interest.   We can use anything to put payments off, really.  Shopping, watching movies, even things like spending time with family and friends can actually manipulate us into thinking we’re ok when we really have stuff we need to deal with.  At the end of the day, the chequebook will know.

But fear not.  Living in the black is quite possible – we just have to not overwhelm ourselves with credit card offers.  It’s a lot more fun on the winning side, even if it takes some downsizing to make it possible.

It’s all part of good accounting for our life – something that, one day, I believe, we will have to give account for.