A Letter To Ponder…
Recently I received a message in response to my article “Suffering and Poverty vs. Health and Wealth” from a friend of mine that I met while on the streets of a beach town in California a few years ago. I found that the stories and message she shared quite intriguing, and felt that the least I could do was pass them on. Here is the main portion of the message, unedited and uncensored. Take it or leave it, I think it’s a healthy thing to walk a bit in someone else’s shoes.
Well, I just finished reading your article, and I first want to say that the issue is wecomed in my realm, since this is a hot topic for me, as you know….
I have travelled all across the US (last year, four times, between PA and CA!), and I’ve attended alot of churches, met alot of pastors, and members of congregations.
Including, most of the churches here in Santa Cruz, CA…..
And my conclusion is this….
That the MAJORITY of churches, which includes the pastors and congregations, are hypocrits.
There is a VERY small percentage, and I mean VERY SMALL! percentage of ppl who are involved in the church who actually have Jesus in their hearts, truly. If I had a dollar for every person who claimed to be a Christian….
In all my 48 years of being alive, I can honestly say that I’ve truly met only ONE pastor, who is actually true to the Bible….
He was in a place called, Wickenburg, AZ. Hotter than a chile pepper on a hot tin, roof, the place was….
I had just embarked on my second, no, third, trip across the US. (I had met a guy online who promised me land, a place to live, etc…in Texas.)….And by the time I reached L.A., he had flaked on me. So, what to do? So, I was thinking about heading either to PA or continue to TX on my own. So, I had trouble making up my mind, and wound up taking a “back road,” throught the desert in AZ. Scary, yes, but it turned out to be a rather lovely picturesque drive thru the desert. I had made up my mind that I would drive until the sun went down, since it was a Saturday, and the Sabbath was approaching (I honor the Sabbath from sundown Saturday till sundown on Sunday.) So, just as the sun was going down, I reached this little town called, Wickenburg, AZ. I spent the night, as usual, in my car, in a parking lot. Across the street, was a church, and I decided that I would attend that church Sunday morning. And I did. Afterwards, I asked to speak to the pastor. Oh, first of all, as he was presenting his sermon, I noticed that it wasn’t just him speaking, he would invite comments and opinions from the audience. So, I raised my hand, and he responded politely. I can’t remember if we agreed or not. But afterwards, I asked him if he knew of a place that I could simply take a shower. Well, he said he would do more than that, he would put me up in a nice hotel, that had a hot tub and swimming pool, and an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet, in the morning. Let me tell you something….nobody, and I mean NOBODY, not even my own family, has ever responded with such an amazing gesture over a simple request for a shower. Seriously.
As you know, or I think I’ve told you, I have encountered alot of opposition for my faith, which is precisely the reason that I am homeless. It’s not because I lack faith. I know that our faith is tested on a daily basis, and it IS a war, a spiritual war, a war that we have to fight on multiple battlefields, and fronts, sometimes.
I have been beaten, dragged, poisoned, starved, jailed, etc….for my faith.
And yes, in spite of those moments, the miracles were that I knew God/Jesus was right there, holding my hand. Even days that I felt my body dying from starvation, it was like, He took the pain of it away.
And yes, I am still homeless, but I am grateful, that every night I go to sleep, I sleep in peace, I sleep well, and I’m happy. I am fed now.
I’m doing pretty well, actually, with my meager means.
I know that Jesus could provide me with a house, if he wants to. But right now, he’s not, for whatever reason.
The Bible does promise riches and glory, long life, etc…if you follow him.
That’s not why I do, although that’s a benefit. The reason I do, is because I know that he is the ONLY way! There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that anyone can put their faith into! Not money, not people, not houses, cars….nothing! There is absolutely nothing that I can count on in this life, except Jesus! He is the only one who has never let me down!
But my point is, I have attended alot of churches, met alot of pastors, congregations….so-called “friends,” who declared their undying love and devotion to me. But when I needed help, was a single one of them helpful! No! Not a single one! Sure, they give me books to read, bags and boxes of expired canned goods that cost more gas to lug around and make me vomit. Dried beans, rice….etc, that are more aggravating than anything else. But when I ask pastors, friends, congregations for a specific need, sometimes even just a parking lot to park in at night, the answer is, “No.” They hand me a pile of garbage, instead. I suppose that eases their conscience, I dunno.
one pastor, in Wickenburg, AZ, actually did above and far beyond my simple request! I even told him a little bit about my past, which he didn’t even bat an eye about!
So, I know for a fact, that 99.9% of all the so-called, “Christians,” I meet, including pastors, are full of malarky.
I pray that Jesus blesses that pastor beyond his imagination for what he did for me.
That’s what I believe, is a true pastor, a true Christian.
And then, just to add, the other side of the coin is….
I recently, within the past few months, asked a pastor about an auto mechanic ministry for widows and unwed mothers that they advertised at the church where I got baptized. And he said, “Yes.” Well, I originally thought it was simply members of the church who volunteered their time to fix cars for ppl who couldn’t afford it.
But he told me that the church simply pays for the work. So, first he sent me on a wild goose chase looking for a reliable, honest mechanic that would do the work at a fair price. All his recommendations turned out to be lousy. Especially the last one, who I agreed to go with. Oh my gosh, that mechanic….talk about strife! I’m not even going to go into all the details, but at the end of the day, I had wished I had simply purchased the part myself, from Auto Zone, and paid a Mexican to do it. Even though I am basically racist, too!
Now this was a pastor, who travels all over the world, to third-world countries, evangelizing.
Yes, he has probably acquired many frequent-flyer miles, I’m sure. Perhaps he may even complain about airplane food, or lack of sleep, you know, “hahaha!”
But like Jesus said, “You travel across land and sea to make one convert, so you can turn him into half the son of hell that you are!”
Now, I’m not saying this to you, Nathan, I’m saying this in general. When people don’t help people in their own back yards, but book flights all over the world…..
Another example, is I need to get my old skool fillings removed before my teeth crumble. I don’t have health insurance anymore, and it will cost me $2,500.00 cash to get it all done. So, this same church also has a so-called, “dentist” ministry. Well, when I inquired about it, the girl was so flaky about it, I decided not to even waste my time or my patience. But again, they spend thousands of dollars (it’s a “mega-church”) to travel all over the world so they can go to Ethiopia and perform dental procedures on the blacks over there who are starving. (Meanwhile, Beyonce and Jay-Z are buying million dollars cars that they smash via Youtube, that they think is hilarious!)
So, I guess that’s my point.
P.S…And there’s something else that I want to add, that I wholeheartedly agree with you about: And that is, that God does intend for us to live in paradise. That the capabilities are within us, and the blessings are within reach, that we can truly find our paradise.
SIDE NOTE:
If you are interested in supporting my friend, she has informed me that she does artwork on commission. If you live in the Santa Cruz area and would like more info (or even if you don’t live near there), please get in contact with me and I can forward your information to her. Be blessed!
earning a prophet's wage
I have never read this blog before now. I usually like to get a better feel for who I am reading before I engage… But this strikes a nerve with me, so I will respond.
First off, I resonate as several key points with the writer of this note. I have more than a little frustration with churches, pastors, and benevolence ministries. And in fact, I am into blogging again (5 year hiatus) largely because it is a way of addressing that frustration. And I devote my main blog to homelessness issues, which I started when I tried to obtain a ministry position with a church organization that serves the poor, but they refused to hire me because I would give money to individuals who ask for it. WOW!!!
This is the first time this issue cost me a job, but I have run into the issue numerous times,and it is not the first time it has been costly to me on a personal level. So, I speak out against just the kind of crap that is lamented here regularly.
2nd off: I would say the critique here does not go far enough in some respects. I am thrilled that the Wickenburg pastor went far above and beyond what was asked. I think Jesus goes above and beyond expectations regularly. (BTW I used to live near Wickenburg… I like that town). So, cudos to them. But, I think it would have been more Christlike for the church as a whole to have invited your friend to stay with them in their homes. A hotel is snazzy, but it is not a home. It is a business and it is impersonal.
I was visiting my Aunt in rural New Mexico a few years ago when a drifter dropped into the library where she worked. Since she knew the heart I have for such people, she called me to come tend to him. I was a guest in her house and could not host him, but I had a little money and could take him to eat and visit with him to determine the needs and how I might bless him.
Now the guy seemed really confused about a lot of stuff. Really outta touch. Probably had some mental illness, but not too bad for us to be social. He was heading to Denver with some determination. I did not see a good purpose for it, but who was I to get in the way. I tried to help him examine other alternatives, but he was insistant, so I decided to help. But I did not want to leave the church out of the loop. The church is the Body of Christ. The man needed to be handed off to Jesus for His care.
So, I called the local pastor. A man I know and admire. He officiated my mother’s funeral a few years ago. I will not slander the man or his church. But I will not white wash them either.
The pastor never came to meet the drifter. He spoke with me on the phone and directed me to contact the secretary. She had a small fund set aside for such instances. She would make arrangemnts with a local motel. Once the arrangements were made (all by phone), I gave the guy a ride to the motel. I knew it was a pretty humble looking place from the outside and wanted to see what it was like inside. Just what was Jesus getting this guy into???
I was personally disqusted by the fea-bag joint. I actually killed 3 (count em 3) spiders in the wall in there before I left. I have to say, the drifter did not seem to mind. He seemed content enough, especially when I bought him a map, some cigarettes, and some non-parishible food for the road. But I was not happy.
I went home and reflected on what had happened. That church actually spent some hard cash alright. But functionally they found the cheapest way to “make the problem go away” rather than “love” – or dare I say “CELEBRATE” this man. And that is where I am now. I think your friend needed to be celebrated. That is what we all need. And when you find people who celebrate you, you know you are loved. That hotel room in Wickenburg with a hot tube is cool and all, but it still has the feel of making the problem “go away” rather than celebrating that God has drawn us together!
So, in that sense, I would push the critique even more….
But, and 3rdly: I would say that I sense a bit of scorn in the post. That may actually be appropriate at this point. I do not know really. I do not know your friend, or you for that matter. I do not have a comprehensive picture of what the story is there. But I can say that when critiquing, efforts at being “even handed” tend to speak volumes. Scorn sounds selfish and small minded and weak. It is indicative of those things. And so, even though I share the critique here to a large extent, even I am guessing that some more maturity is called for… But I will not make that judgment call. I just call to your attention that it has that appearance, and if tempered, would make the critique more powerful actually (in my view).
Still, there are times for the shrill voice. I want to be careful not to deny that willy-nilly. so, I leave that for your discernment.
The last point I want to make in this comment is is that the celebration goes both ways. A drifter can celebrate a community. If the community will respond, then build on that! If the community (with time and patience) will learn to respond, that build on that. If the community refuses to respond with mutual celebration, then shake the dust off your feet as a testimonty against them. They need your testimonty for good or ill. And just because you are the “one in need” does not mean that you don’t have something to offer. You have a responsibility to those who might hoste you. You are not a parasite. You are a child of God, and that means you have blessings to bestow. That will require imagination for those of little means (actually for everyone, but extra from those of lack). Pray on it. And bless those who curse you. Be the Jesus to them that he would want you to be.
We are all on a learning curve. No churches or pastors are perfect. 99.9% are deeply flawed and need God’s grace. That does not mean they are not part of his plan. I think there is a lot of posing going on. Calling the bluff on it has its place – AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE!!! But it is not enough to just call the bluff and write 99.9% of these Christians off. They need prophetic stirring. Some will be saved! Care for them. And I pray they care for you too.
Blessings… from Texas
admin
Hey “Texas”,
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I posted what my friend wrote not because I thought it was completely flawless or balanced, but because it shed a perspective that many of my readers don’t get to hear often. This article was meant to just provoke people to thought, and I am thankful that you shared your perspective because you dealt with some important issues. I would be interested in reading your blog if you would be so kind as to post it? Thanks again.
earning a prophet's wage
I am glad I found this blog. I will find some time and explore it further. The word here blesses and encourages me.
Thank you.
And yes… please visit me on my blog. Would love to have some attention there….
jesusisenuff.blogspot.com
blessings….
Shawn
Well, I just want to add that I’m the woman that wrote the above letter to Nathan regarding my situation on facebook. And I thank “Texas” for her insight. I totally agree with her as far as I also have been put up in a flea bag motel (once), and yes, it did make me feel like a parasite. Ninety-nine.nine percent of the time, people do make me feel aweful because I’m homeless. If you saw me walking down the street, you probably wouldn’t notice I’m homeless. I don’t “look” like I’m homeless, and so I’ve noticed that people can be very cordial to me, until they find out that I am homeless, then it’s a different story. So yes, I wholeheartedly agree, that just putting somebody up for the night in a flea-bag motel is a cop-out. More has to be done to alleviate the homeless problem. What has to be done, though, is an overlapping problem, and a cookie-cutter solution isn’t the answer for everyone. Most use drugs, alcohol, cigs, to cope with their situation. Most do not have good hygeine. Most do not know of social courtesies. I, personally, was raised in an upper-class family, and so I do take showers, etc… I like to have nice things, and the money I do have, I spend on other things, not drugs/alcohol/cigs. For me, staying in that nice hotel, was exactly what I needed. I preferred that, actually, over staying in somebody’s house. I have stayed in people’s houses, which I have been grateful for, however, I have the type of personality that sort of rubs people the wrong way, I guess, because of my passion for Christ. As you have noticed, alot of people would rather sit on their hands and do nothing, or donate some expired canned goods to soothe their consciences. People like that generally live lackadazical lifestyles, themselves. Or usually, project their energies into keeping up with the Jones, or whatever. And, at the same time, I’ll admit, I do have anger issues, due to injustices that I and my kids (I have four grown) have suffered. You mentioned something above about a shrill in my voice, or scorn, something like that….it’s such a long, complicated story, why I’m like that, and how I came about to be homeless….Anyway…the point I’m trying to make is…I applaud your passion and recognition of the defunct Church. The Church is supposed to be the Body of Christ…to heal, nurture, protect, provide, encourage, (and actually “Celebrate?” Wow! That is profound! Yes, if I were celebrated, I think that would solve maybe even the majority of my problems!), and they’re not doing it. I guess that’s the bottom line. My needs are different than say, a drug-addict. (Course, everybody needs the Bible. But I have also overheard grown able-bodied men mock a pastor who brings dinner every Saturday to the homeless center for having a brief sermon prior to serving. So, those kind of people, I think like the Bible says, they need a rod to their backs to get them to work. Mocking a pastor who is truly trying to help, well, that’s a no-good bum, in my opinion!) Anybody, I mean, all our stories are different. A nice hotel happens to be my comfort zone, and for that night, I felt so wonderful! But realize, that others may not feel comfortable in that environment. Living in Santa Cruz, I will say this…when those on SSI get their checks on the first, the soup kitchen is practically empty because they all pooled their money to get a hotel so they can party. After about two weeks, their money’s spent, and they’re coming down off drugs, and are extremely difficult, if not impossible to deal with. And that goes for the staff running those places as well. Most are recovering addicts themselves, and do not have the problem-solving skills to deal with someone like me. Somebody who is truly trying to get their life together. Not just waiting for a hand-out. For instance (and I know this is long)…I was at a bus stop yesterday, waiting for a bus, and I had to use the restroom, bad. Well, there was a church, right there, and two women out in front, so I walked up (mind you, I don’t look homeless), and asked these two women smoking cigarettes if I could use their ladies room. They looked at each other, rolled their eyes around, and reluctantly gave me directions to the restroom. Well, I walked in, past a living area, through a hall way, like they said, and was surprised to see guys sort of like laying around on couches, watching t.v., zoned out from drugs/alcohol. I walked into the bathroom, which actually had some showers. I was surprised, because I’ve lived in Santa Cruz over four years, and I never knew this church had showers. When I came out, I realized by the literature, that this was a drug/alcohol recovery wing at their church. And so many times, I have been turned away because I do not have a drug or alcohol problem. (And when I get around those people, arguments usually erupt since we have different perspectives on everything.) So, basically, I’m one of those people that don’t necessarily fit into the image of homelessness, and my needs are different. I DO believe in the Bible, I DO believe that the Church is supposed to be the Body of Christ. And I DO believe it’s a two-way street. That’s all I’m saying, I guess. But thanks! I’ll check out your blog too!
Shawn
P.S. By the way, I just want to say two things: One, I tried to find your blog spot, “Texas,” but couldn’t find it. Two, the above photo is sort of ironic to me, because the first homeless person I ever saw in my life, was in Santa Cruz, at that very spot, around 1986! I was horrified! It was some kid, rummaging through a trash can, right next to some tourists, taking photos of each other, who didn’t even notice!
earning a prophet's wage
Shawn,
I have not been back to look at this post since you responded to me. I apologize for not engaging you sooner. I hope you come back and connect again. I am glad to make the contact at all!
My blog is at jesusisenuff.blogspot.com. I do not use my real name any more on the blogs. Thus I try hard not to be aggressive with others in argument. That is hiding… But I also do not want to toot my own horn and call attention to myself and steal God’s glory anytime I happen to discuss some good deed I might have been a part of.
I tried to follow the link to you. I do not understand why it did not get me there. But I hope you come back and reconnect soon.
BTW, I am always seeking blogs that are posted by the homeless themselves. I promote the issue in as positive a light and God-glorifying way as I know how. I take my bearings from Him rather than political correctness (used to just be politeness when I was a kid). So I express defensive opinions etc, but I am willing to listen to all… and esp the homeless themselves. To hear you in your own voice.
I do not recall the exact search that originally led me to this blog, but I am sure that is what I was looking for and found your letter posted on it. It is a good blog, but it was your story that drew me.
Blessings…
KIT